Don't Panic, We Still Have Awesome (Now In Tired Ramblings)

I'm terrible at updating this. Part of that is because I'm spending almost every waking moment working on the pageant, the other (slightly bigger) part is because I'm lazy. I'm so very lazy. I don't think I've accomplished anything this past three weeks that wasn't associated with the pageant. And then, when I tried to get something done, the computer I was on died. I seem to lack a serious work ethic. The only reason I'm writing this is that I had an unusual burst of energy (most likely due to the fact that its my birthday) and wanted to get something done, I looked through a list of websites and saw this one and realized that I've been very neglectful of poor little awesome here. So here I am, updating this now. I had a full list of idea's of what to put here and forgot while my burrito was being microwaved and I already started so this post might just be a ramble (I think its too late to say the word might).

Paragraphs! It's easier to read something when it isn't a wall of text.

Ok, so mayhaps I'm a tad tired. It is 5 in the morning and I haven't slept yet. That usually isn't surprising, but today I didn't get to nap at midnight, so I'm a bit more tired than normal. Yes, I do take naps at midnight. I used to think that when I got tired at midnight that it would be an opportunity to fix my sleeping schedule, but they always ended up being naps. So I nap, starting anywhere from 10PM to midnight and ending anywhere from midnight to 2Am.

Sometimes I think the chances of anyone reading what I write here is very low. That might also account for the low amount of postings that I've been doing. You may have guessed that I like to write, and I like for people to read what I write. I will often get discouraged when I don't get a comment, thinking that either nobody read it, or even worse, nobody who read it liked it. Comments are a very happy thing. I smile inside for hours when I get one. Now I don't know what else to put in this paragraph, so I'll end it there.

You may know that I have ambitions to be a best selling author, and if you didn't you do now. I used to think that it would be simple. My plan when I decided that this was what I would do with my life was thus: 1. Write kick-awesome book that rivals Harry Potter. 2. Become a millionaire. There are a few holes in that plan. I have a good foundation (writing a kick-awesome book), but I missed a few thousand steps in between that and the millionaire part. I also thought that being an author meant that I can have a reclusive lifestyle where I never have to have any human contact whatsoever (ideal for me), but I was also wrong. I have taken to reading the blogs of literary agents, new authors, and other people associated with my field of choice. They have shed light on my naive mind. This will be a difficult endeavor. One that will require hard work and dedication and possibly result in mental instability (more so than already apparent). As I was reading these blogs I began to be discouraged. How can I compete in the publishing world? My novel(s) are not nearly good enough and the sheer amount of work to get them to that level of kick-awesomeness is daunting! The economy is making it harder and harder to get published, I may never succeed! D:

But then I said to myself, "Who cares!" And then the more logical side of me started ranting that I should care and that perhaps I should consider a more stable career choice so that I may have a comfortable lifestyle. The writer in me told the logical me to back off. Logic told Writer more facts and showed some cool graphs about the chances of our success. Writer pretended to be interested, but the whole time was thinking of how to fill up that plot hole in our dragon story. Logic noticed that he was being ignored and did the logical thing, he grabbed Writer's face. With Writer's full attention Logic proceeded to lay out several alternative career options that would prove to not only provide stability in life, but probably a lot of comfort as well. He used quotes from our dad, "You should go into law," and past aspirations and showed how we could very well succeed in these places. Recluse jumped in and shouted something about dealing with to many people before retreating back into his cave. Logic and Writer ignored him because they had both come to face the fact that we will be unable to escape people no matter what job we go into. We heard grumblings from Recluse's cave. Having lost his train of thought brought on by Recluse's outburst, Writer told Logic that we love to write and tell stories and that we don't care if life isn't all that great so long as we are doing what we love to do. Before logic could respond, Writer hit Logic with some leftover writer's block and ran.

To sum that up, I still want to be writer. I wonder how long Logic will stay unconscious.

My computer is showing some of the signs that it would very much like to explode. This has happened before so I can recognize the signs. I'll have to stop writing though it has been much fun and renewed my hope in myself (ourself?). Hopefully, the computer will be fine. I'd prefer not to have another computer explode while I am using it (the count is up to two).

Thanks for listening.